This week in our Agent First Mindset session, we looked at a video from Ryan Holiday, author and modern-day stoic. Ryan reminded us of ten Stoic choices we can make today to grow.
At our weekly Agent First Mindset meetings, we gather to help each other sharpen our real estate and personal skills to become more well-rounded and successful agents.
This week, Ryan helped us do just that by showing us how to make Stoic choices that help us take control of our lives so we can pursue our business goals without distraction.
Before we get started, let’s just briefly define stoicism. Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy, and there’s a lot to it. However, at its core, it’s all about becoming a strong moral person resistant to outside influences and strong emotions. The stoics live lives devoted to understanding themselves, the world around them, and how to live without being subject to external forces.
The Ten Choices of the Stoic
According to Ryan, there are ten main Stoic choices you can make every day to become a better, more successful person and real estate agent. We’ll go into more detail below.
1. Say Yes to What Matters
Being a great person and agent requires focus, concentration, and elimination. You must be willing and able to focus on what’s important and concentrate on doing it well. You must also eliminate the things in your life that don’t matter.
As an agent, you’ll have to work hard to make your business successful. You can’t allow other things in life to distract you from your goals. You also need to focus on saying yes to the most important aspects of your business and no to the rest. You can’t do everything–you’re just one person. Keep your eyes on what matters.
2. Be Disciplined
Most of us know what we need to do to get ahead. As agents, we know that we need to do prospecting, set appointments, follow up, etc. But most of us put things off until we’re “ready.”
The truth is, we would all be better people if we did what we know we need to. Most people know how to be healthy, but they’re fat because they don’t do the things they know are right. It’s the same in business. Instead of just knowing what we have to do, we actually have to get out there and we have to do it NOW.
3. Don’t Suffer in Advance
Seneca, one of the Stoics from Ancient Greece, once said: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” In our daily life, we often fixate on what could go wrong. We hold back because we are afraid of what might happen if we step out of our comfort zone.
But we’ll never get anywhere if we always live in fear. Don’t cause yourself anxiety and suffering over outcomes that most likely will never actually happen. It will only end up costing you, both personally and financially. Take your eyes off the bad consequences you are imagining and focus on what is real.
4. Stop Wasting Time
Many of us waste our precious time worrying about things outside of our control. But if we want success, we can’t keep wasting time worrying about what other people think, what other people do, what regrets we have, or what we fear in the future.
A truly successful agent doesn’t hold on to things they can’t change. Instead, they work hard to spend their time on what matters–building their relationships and business. What others think of you doesn’t matter, what matters is that you get to become the person you want to be.
5. Control Your Emotions
Don’t allow your emotions to get the best of your reason. Instead, control how you respond. Don’t respond with anger, frustration, or despair over the people and situations in your life that aren’t going well. Instead, learn how to regulate your emotions.
You’ll have a lot of bad days in real estate. People will be cruel, you’ll suffer losses, you’ll fail at your tasks. You can’t allow yourself to blow up at people or fall into despair over what happened. You have to contain your feelings and keep working hard to do what’s right.
6. Focus on How Far You Have Left to Go
Don’t focus on the past and how far you’ve come. Sure, it’s nice to reflect on that sometimes. But if that’s all you think about, you’ll get stuck and people will hate hanging out with you because you’re so full of yourself.
Instead, be humble and keep pushing. You have a lot farther to go! This real estate career is a lifelong pursuit. It doesn’t end just because you reach a certain milestone. Don’t get complacent in your business, but keep pushing to be better and do more for yourself and your clients.
7. Stand Up for Others
When you’re out there in the world working on your business, it’s easy to focus only on yourself and forget about others. But as important as your business is, it will get nowhere without people. And you’ll soon be stuck feeling useless and completely empty.
Take what strength you have and stand up for the little guy. We are all privileged in some way, and you can probably see just what that is when you take a look at those in your life who are struggling. Use such power as you have been given to help others, to seek justice for those who can’t seek it for themselves.
At the end of the day, life is about people. If you spend your whole life living only for you, you’ll end up very unfulfilled. Do what you can to help others while you’re here and your life will be richer for it–and so will theirs.
8. Focus On What’s In Your Control
The truth is, 99% of what you focus on doesn’t matter. Most of us spend a majority of our time concentrating on how we want things to go or how we hope people will act. But we can’t control other people or the results of their decisions. We also can’t control the weather, or how many clients we have in comparison to someone else, or many of the other things we concern ourselves with.
Instead of focusing on what is outside your control, focus on what is up to you. You can pursue your goals, build yourself into a better person, and make great business decisions. None of those things guarantee success, but they give you a much higher chance. They are also the only decisions that will give you peace.
9. Be Willing to Look Stupid
In the end, you have to be willing to do what no one else does, even if it looks ridiculous. You have to be willing to be bad at things while realizing that you’re always improving. You have to be willing to not care what others say or think about your actions.
As an agent, there may be times that you see an opportunity that no one else does. The world and technology are constantly changing, and you never know when an opportunity may arise. Don’t sit around thinking that you’ll look dumb because no one else is trying it. Instead, get out there and push your limits until you see success.
10. Seek Challenges
It’s important that you don’t live your life in complacency. The only way to get stronger is to challenge yourself daily. Push yourself physically until your body is obedient to your mind. And push yourself mentally until you can control your emotions and your actions.
To meet with life’s hardships, you need to be strong enough mentally and physically. You won’t get there with complacency and laziness. Push yourself in both areas until you’re strong enough to make it through whatever life throws your way.
Become a Better Agent
As a person and as an agent, you can benefit from all these Stoic choices. Fight to discipline yourself, focus on what you can control, handle your emotions well, and explore new challenges whenever they arrive. If you can make these Stoic choices regularly, you’ll be both a better person and a better agent.
If you’re interested in joining our weekly Agent Mindset calls to hear from these experts and discuss it with a team, consider joining Agent First Group as a real estate partner. Each week we meet to discuss all the important things in life, from real estate to our mindset and so much more! Get connected today.